Today was my dad's birthday...he would have been 77. I miss him all the time and would give anything to have one more day with him. However...on the 9th of April 2014 I feel like I was given a second chance. I can't quite explain how it felt to find out I was having a baby boy. When I was little I used to tell my dad that if I had a boy when I grew up I would name him Eduardo. He would always tell me "no, that's an awful name...don't name him that! The English version is much more beautiful. You should name him Edward." And I would argue back no, I'm naming him Eduardo. This was years before I even seriously contemplated having children! I don't know why I told him that, but evidently it was something that I felt strongly about even at a young age. So when I found out that I was having a boy (something that also secretly terrified me because I knew nothing about boys!!), I instantly knew it was Eduardo who I was carrying in my belly and somehow I felt like there was a part of my dad inside of me. This also came with an enormous amount of pressure to keep the baby safe, not that that wasn't the case with Emilia too (especially being my first!) but I did feel like I was more on edge and anxious with my second pregnancy.
I remember the last time I looked into my dad's eyes. It's not something I particularly like to remember...but it's one of those moments that you cannot erase from your memory. He was really sick and I had flown back from the UK as we believed that he was nearing the end. His health had deteriorated considerably since the last time I had seen him a few weeks prior and he wasn't talking anymore, but my mum said something to him about me being there...he opened his eyes, looked at me and I knew from his reaction that he had acknowledged me. That was the last time I looked into his eyes. Then on the 9th of April 2014 I gave birth to a baby boy. He had sallow skin, dark brown hair and was beautiful just like his sister. But when he opened up his big brown eyes and looked at me, my heart skipped a beat. In that moment the only words that popped into my head were: "I never thought I'd see you again." It was like my dad was staring back at me. I don't know what I did to deserve this but I honestly feel like I got a second chance with my dad. Eduardo reminds me of him in so many ways!
Sorry to go all deep on you...that wasn't actually my intention with this blog post! I can't help but get a bit emotional on his birthday! Anyway, we had a lovely day and I think my dad would have been very happy with how we celebrated. We spent most of his birthday in Central Park where we met up with my sister Emma and later that evening went to Eataly for dinner, which is a very authentic Italian shop/restaurant! Here was my outfit of the day - I kept it casual and pretty comfy for a day spent doing lots of walking! I'm wearing 7 for All Mankind skinny jeans, TOMS boots (so comfortable!), an Abercrombie cardigan and Zegna scarf (my dad's!).
And now onto the exciting news bit :) I wanted to make this announcement on a very special day like today as it is connected to my dad in so many ways. This month I am launching my very own jewellery line which is inspired by my gold Scorpio necklace. I wear this piece every single day and had inherited it from my dad, who was also a Scorpio! I've designed 12 different necklaces for each sign of the Zodiac and I really hope you will love them all as much as I do! Now you can finally have the same necklace as me, as I get so many questions about it every time I show it! Let me know your thoughts! I'm so excited to share this project with you!