Maternity jumper - Seraphine, Jeans - Mamalicious, Scarf - Matalan, Boots - Joules
Well hello there, my faithful blog readers who haven't completely abandoned hope in me ever posting again! It has been several months since the last update but I think I have a pretty good excuse. In case you didn't already know from YouTube, Instagram or anywhere else it may be floating around the internet...I am pregnant again! I'm four months along and we found out in early December (which funnily enough is exactly the same time I stopped posting!). The first trimester was pretty brutal. I was very sick from about a week after we found out until around the three month mark. As a result of that Christmas & New Year's weren't the most enjoyable and I basically just spent that time hibernating in a constant blur of nausea/fatigue. This past month has been better although I was still feeling exhausted (probably quite normal with three little ones to chase after!) but now I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Woo hoo! I've even started to organise my house which is something I had totally let slip recently and that horrible uncomfortable full feeling I would often get after eating is gone.
So how do I feel about being pregnant with number four?! Aside from the initial shock of getting pregnant so soon after Alessia (she was 8 months whereas Emilia was 10 months when I found out about Eduardo!) and the inevitable feelings of "oh my God...are we actually doing this?!?!" we were ecstatic. We always knew we either wanted two or four children. So when Alessia came along I knew for a fact that she wouldn't be my last. I also sort of made the decision early on that I wanted a small gap similar to Emilia & Eduardo's 18 month one because as much as the beginning is hard (when isn't it?!) I found the recovery, breastfeeding and adjusting to a new baby so much easier with a small gap rather than a bigger one. Having Alessia three years after Eduardo almost felt like having my first all over again. I breastfeed my babies until they're a year old so until that first year is up I'm pretty tied to them which I do love and would not change for the world...however it can be demanding and it means you don't have the freedom that you once did. But when you're already in that zone of breastfeeding, changing nappies and haven't even reached potty training stage yet, it's just part of your everyday life and you almost forget that there's light at the end of the tunnel. When Eduardo hit about two, I felt like I got my life back. All of a sudden I wasn't carrying a changing bag around with me anymore, both my children were walking and I didn't need a double stroller. It was kind of amazing! Then I got used to having that freedom and it all hit me like a tonne of bricks when Alessia came. Even in the space of three years there was a lot I had forgotten and my body did too! I found breastfeeding extremely painful just like with my first whereas my boobs never got the chance to go back to "normal" the second time round so feeding Eduardo was a dream.
All of these things just made my mind up even more that when we had another baby, I knew it was going to be pretty soon. But when you're breastfeeding your cycle is all over the place and I only had two periods (at 6 & 7 months postpartum) which were both quite irregular so when I missed my 8 month postpartum period I wasn't 100% sure whether that was due to being pregnant or not. I am still breastfeeding Alessia and she is down to two feeds a day but thankfully as she is such an amazing eater, her reliance on my milk feeds is a lot less than Emilia's was at this stage so that part hasn't been as draining for me. I still intend to feed her until the 12 month mark and although I know there's another baby coming I am prepared for that to be emotional. As much as I know she is going to be a big sister at 16 months, I'm not completely ready for her not to be my baby anymore!
In other exciting news we also found out that we are having a boy! I feel like this is the perfect addition to our family as Jonathan & I both agree that a little brother is exactly what Eduardo needs. He is feeling a bit lost lately, has been acting up and doing anything for attention even if that means getting in trouble. He is such a wonderful, sensitive and inherently good little boy that this is out of character and when we get him in alone time or even just with either of his sisters he is absolutely fine. But being in the middle of two girls, when they are altogether I think he feels like the odd one out and I hate the thought of one of my children feeling unhappy so when I saw his reaction to the new baby being a boy I cried. It was like he had finally got the win he was waiting for and I knew that this baby boy would complete our family.
I hope to post more regularly throughout this pregnancy though I can't promise anything as sometimes life does get in the way, especially now as it's busier than ever! But I do miss blogging as that's what originally sucked me into this whole online world in the first place so I promise not to completely disappear. Let me know what kind of posts you'd like to see while I navigate through my last (yes, really!) pregnancy and I hope you'll follow me on this new journey!